Seriously, bored people should read these.
--------------------------------------- LAME JOKES ALERT ._______." ------------------------------------------
Char Siew Pao and Mee Kia got involved in an argument. Char Siew Pao got very angry and shouted at Mee Kia, "I'm going to find my gang to hantam you!"
So Char Siew Pao went to round up Leng Yong Pau and Tau Sar Pow.
Just then, Maggi Mee walked around the corner. Immediately, the Paos started to beat him up.
As Char Siew Pao was punching Maggi Mee, he shouted, "Don't think just because you perm your hair, we can't recognize you, ok!"
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Q: One day (you yi tian), Xiao Ming and Xiao Hua went to eat at the restaurant. After they finish, Xiao Ming and Xiao Hua left the restaurant without paying and the manager didn't mind. Why?
A: (highlight to see) >Cause their friend "you yi tian" pay already......
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three tadpoles went to a restaurant and they saw the people of the next table eating frog porridge. what did they started singing?
ans:(highlight to see)> wo bu xiang wo bu xiang bu xiang zhang da (S.H.E's 不想长大)
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An ant knocks the door of a HDB flat. House owner opens the door. "I want a place to stay", said the ant . "I have a vacant room which you can occupy for free of cost", said the owner. Ant went inside and occupied that vacant room. After some days, the ant brought in another ant and requested the owner "Can you please allow this ant to stay along with me". "Oh sure, you can do so without paying any rent" said the owner. After some days the ant brought one more ant and requested the owner to allow that ant to stay with it. Owner agreed to it without asking for any rent. This continued i.e ant brings in one more ant and owner agrees for it. On one fine day, the ant brought in tenth ant and requested the owner to allow that tenth ant also to stay with it. The owner said "Ok, you all can stay here but you need to pay rent". Now the question is Why did the owner ask for rent when the tenth ant came in?
Ans:(highlight to see)> Because they are now Tenants (Ten ants)
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One day, a matchstick feels his head damn itchy so he scratch it furiously and suddenly *POOF* , his head burst into a flame! He was then admitted to the hospital. So now, guess what he became when he was discharged the next day?
Ans:(highlight to see)> Cotton bud lor. Whole head bandaged mah .
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This is one that works great in real life. In text, the effect is not so 'powerful'.
A mute guy goes to the store. He wants to buy a toothbrush. How does he communicate his request to the shopkeeper?
If you thought he gestured a the action of brushing his teeth, you're correct!
Now say a blind guy goes to the store. He wants sunglasses. What does he do?
Did you immediately think of gesturing the act of putting on glasses? If you did, flush your head down the toilet bowl! The blind guy can easily speak to communicate with the shopkeeper!
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One day Joe went out to Orchard Road wearing his favourite pair of sneakers. He saw this girl pass by him as he was boarding the MRT and was smitten immediately - love at first sight. He went back to tell his friends and they were all curious to know about the girl.
"Is she very cute, like Yang Chen Ling?"
"Nope."
"Is she very sexy, like Jessica Alba?"
"Nope."
"But you don't even know her yet! If she's not cute or sexy, what made you so attracted to her?", his friends were all dumbfounded.
"Well, she was wearing the exact same pair of sneakers that I was wearing that day..." , Joe said.
"WHAT???!!!", his friends exclaimed.
"Yeah...the moment I saw her I knew we were sole mates..."
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Q: what is the difference between someone jumping from 20 storey and 2nd storey
A:(highlight to see)> one is ahhhhhhhh pooffff... the other one is poofffff ahhhhhhh
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Brr... feel so cold now .______."
P.S. Sorry for being lame!:D
